Gary's Rants
Back in the old Spongebath Records day, spongebathrec*com (now defunct, don't go there!), had a few "rants" as they called it from Gary Welch, The Katies bass player. I dove into the archives and pulled them out, just in case anyone is interested, I know I was!
From the archives of the ancient Spongebath Records website:
Gary Welch (3/8 Rant)
A Rant.
We called Gary the other day and asked him if he had anything he'd like to share with the rest of the world. He did, and he's going to share his thoughts with you all about every two weeks. Ladies and Gentlemen, Gary Welch...
Rant #1
Point #1. "Most modern technology as good as it may be is inherently evil."
Point #2. "Before all you jello brains start getting mad at me I just want to say the reason i speak to you now is because even in this, our darkest hour, there is a shining light hanging above the clouds. This light consists of three of the baddest Tennessee/Louisiana bred men that has ever walked upon this earth. Their names are me, Gary Welch, the mighty thunder god of 12-string bass rock. Jason Moore, the might harpist from the mountaine, and young Joshua Moore the butcher of goat skins. Together we transform and transcend to become the singlest greatest rock n' roll band of this age in a time where sober, medicore, pansy-assed, sissy rock rules.
We vow to bring about a great change for the land. In this journey we will right wrongs, kick ass, drink beer, and talk to Stan. Most importantly we will unearth and bring forth from the ashes of our soil a mighty thunderous voice called Real Rock N' Roll. We love you. We thank you and we'd do anything for you. Now go and buy our record, please.
Love,
Gary, Jason, Josh
ps. Please excuse my personal and blatant use of this throughly advanced technological highway, it won't happen again. The beast of mediocrity must be slain. Be cool. Stan for president."
Rant #2
This is the year of the Great White Buffalo.
Every culture, every creed, on this year will pay for their sins and yes this includes you. However, there is a light that shines bright in the darkness. This light can penetrate any evil with its truth. This light can pierce any soul with its blade. This light is rock-n-roll. If this so called rock n roll is the light can save us then let the messengers sing their songs aloud. Only when this happens will great evil be crushed. This great evil as you all know is the microchip (please excuse my use of the microchip for relaying this message).
3,000 years ago a prophecy was foretold by an old old woman. Her name was LAR. She spoke of a time that man would refer to as the 2nd millenium. In the beginning of this 2nd millenium there will be 3 men that will step forth and sing the praises of rock with the blessing of one true living God. Their names are Joshua Moore, the Craver of Souls, Jason Moore, the great leader of the Southern Gnome Kingdom and Gary Welsh, the Archer From the Cliff.
These 3 men will be called The Katies. So with this being said, pretty please with sugar on top go buy our record.
Love,
Me
p.s. Please disregard all the talk of prophecies, milleniums, and truth.